I have a new year's resolution: To grow as a person.
This may sound pseudo-deep, but I have been giving it some thought. I want to become more bold, more brave, more disciplined. Happier. I want to be done chickening out of situations to struggle finding out on my own. I want to be done pushing myself into the box of low confidence by not going and doing that thing. I want to be done knocking down others to numb the pain of hating myself - I can't become my bully's bully.
I want to be done being jealous and self-deprecating for anything other than jokes.
I know this journey will be long, hard and take a lot of strength, but if I'm gonna be anxious and depressed about something, it may as well be in spirit of improvement.
I want to apologise to anyone I have put down unjustly in the past. I always praise directness and while I am an honest person, I don't want to say behind your back what I haven't said to your face before any longer.
I want to apologise for how difficult I have been and will be in the foreseeable future. I hope we're friends enough for you to stick with me through it so we can both benefit.
I want to apologise for apologising too much. I am used to being the problem and I know it's annoying. I'll try give myself less reason to say or feel sorry.